My first Mother's Day!!

So exciting... this was my first Mother's Day. The celebrations began on Saturday, May 9th. My auntie Joy hosted all us mommies over to her house in Irvine for dinner. It was the first time uncle Matthew got to meet Landon because he's been away at college. It was also the first time cousins Madison and Ethan, along with, aunt Michelle got to really see Ethan. They were at the hospital when he was born but because he went immediately to the NICU, they didn't really get to see him. So... aunt Michelle gobbled him right up and enjoyed holding him for much of the night (during which I enjoyed eating a full meal).

The next day, Mother's Day May 10th... daddy came home with a card from Landon. He used his left hand so it looked like kid writting on the inside. Here's Landon holding my card.

Later that afternoon, we went out to La Habra Heights to spend Mother's Day with Sonje's side of the family. We actually went to Adrian and Ted Vecchione's house (our brother-in-laws parents house) to celebrate. They have all sorts of farm animals so its always fun visiting their house. Everyone just loved Landon and thought he was the cutest.

Landon's Growing

Today, May 7th, Landon had his 1-month checkup appointment. Landon is now in the 50th percentile for height and weight. As a proud daddy would say, Sonje says "he's perfect". Next office visit will be his 2-month checkup and that's when we start vaccinations. :(
Unfortunately he still has MAJOR reflex and the doc said that can last up to 4-6 months...wish us luck.

Landon 4 weeks (May 6th)

That's right, its hard to believe it's already been 4 weeks and Landon is already a month-old. :(
People tried telling me that time flies even faster when you have children and I'm starting to understand what they mean.


Well, yesterday was a big day. Not only did Landon turn 4 weeks but it had been 4 weeks since my c-section which means I'm allowed to drive again. So.... let me just tell you about my first day behind the wheel and our big day out...

Per our health benefits we needed to submit Landon's birth information to LAUSD within 30 days to get Landon added to our health insurance. So, Landon and I headed up to downtown LA to go to the disctrict office. He naturally slept the whole way up in the car, slept as we parked, walked to the office building, went up to the 23rd floor and the minute we step into the quiet downtown office, he starts screaming as he decides he is now hungry. I ask the receptionist if they have a bathroom because I had no where else to nurse him. Down the hall with a screaming child I go, into the restroom and into the handicap stall since it has more room. I take about 10 seat covers, cover the toilet seat and sit down to nurse my poor baby boy..yes in the bathroom stall.

Oh it gets better...

As he's laying across my lap feeding, he decideds to blow out his diaper all over my pants (light in color on top of it all)!!! Now I have to watch my pants and of course, it looks like I've completely wet myself by the time I'm finished. I've forgotten to pack a backup outfit so we finally walk out of the office... Landon is down to a diaper and I look like I've pottied in my britches.

No wonder why its impossible to get out of the house. Thank goodness I couldn't drive for 4 weeks. The heck with this.....

Can he get any cuter?

photo taken on Friday, May 1st (just over 3 weeks old)






~his little Quicksilver shoes are a bit big...even for his big feet

Visitors

On Tuesday, Great Grandma Janet and Auntie Karen (aka Tina per Miss Bella's naming), came over to visit Landon. This is Great Grandma Janet's 8th great grandchild. Word has it she is in love too with our little man. He was "talking" up a storm while they were visiting.

More Cute Pictures

We are officially like any other set of parents that think their kid is just too cute...

Uncle Eric and Landon

Since Landon went to the NICU after he was born, our family really didn't get a chance to see Landon the night he was born. My brother wasn't able to come back to the hospital during our stay so this is the first time Uncle Eric actually gets to see (and hold) Landon.

Do I look exhausted or what. I'm lucky to get a shower in so doing my hair and makeup is totally out of the question. Landon's not going to recognize me when I actually get "done up" one of these days.

another great swaddle picture

ps... we have a ton of sleeping pictures (what can we say, he's perfectly still in these ones).

Trying out the swing

Well, so far, Landon isn't a huge fan of the swing. In his defense, I'm not sure that our swing is working right though since it goes from hardly moving on level 1 to going almost full speed at level 2. Sonje and I need to go back to Babies R Us and maybe exchange it.

Bergie on the other hand is pretty interested in it. I think she's finding that Landon has way cooler toys. :)

so sleepy

Pucker Up

cause mommy is coming in for another kiss...

Bath Time

Landon isn't a big fan of bathing. He's perfectly happy smelling like his spit-ups, poop and pee. But, every couple days, he has to get a bath whether he likes it or not

(and not being the right word here).

To date his umbilical cord has not fallen off. Crazy huh!

When all else fails...

Landon might be a little colicky because sometimes there is NOTHING we can do to settle him. Its only a night thing, usually between the hours of about 9pm-ish and ending around 12:30am (give or take). However, after he's exhausted himself, he eventually finds peace sleeping on daddy's tummy. Mommy is only able to do tummy time after Landon has a full belly otherwise he roots around.

Tummy Time

Part of Landon's daily schedule includes tummy time. Usually we do it in his sleeper but when we are in the family room, we put a towel down and he does it there. Here daddy is trying to mimic Landon's tummy time.

Most of my time is spent in the rocker

That's right- Landon and I camp out much of the day in the rocker. I breastfeed and breastpump here every couple hours (hence the snacks and water bottle in the picture). My friend Kim gave me these cute and comfy pjs since Landon and I are supposed to breastfeed skin-to-skin so this button down blouse makes it convenient. Although I don't move much from this rocker, the rocker has lots of significance. This rocker was my grandma's. She had this rocker for a lifetime and even used it to rock me when I was a baby. If there is a chair that I'm going to be "stuck in", it might as well be this special seat.

Landon Found His Thumb

He's actually only found his thumb just a handle of times. Our lacation lady and our pediatrician said its too early to give him a pacifier. For now, he pretty much pacifies on mommy. But, every now and then, he happens to get his thumb in his month and when he does, he has his own version of sucking on his thumb and it looks like this...

Peace with SNS

Here daddy is SNS feeding Landon. Sonje did this while Landon was in the NICU and our lacation specialist said to still have daddy do one SNS finger feeding each day when he gets home from work. Landon just happened to have his little fingers making a peace sign.

Swaddle- the Landon way

So, although they say to swaddle tight, our little guy has to have at least one arm out and its usually up near his face. No matter how hard we try, he seems to wiggle an arm out. Funny thing is an ultra sound technician told us he would do this. Every time I had an ultrasound taken during my pregnancy, Landon had his hands up by his face. It was often hard to get ultrasound pics because of this. She predicted he would put his hands up by his face after he was born and she was surely right. He feeds with his hands in little fits up next to his checks, sleeps with at least one hand out of the swaddle blanket...it's so cute!!!

A typical Day

Breastfeed
Breastpump
Breastfeed
Breastpump
Breastfeed
Breastpump

...just call me a cow. I feel like I have utters. Its almost impossible to get anything done and the whole "rest when the baby rests" thing.... yay, that only works so well. I'm trying, believe me. But, I really have hardly any downtime with this breastfeeding schedule we have. Not that I'm complaining because I really and truly trust the lactation specialist and know that we are on the right path, but it really is pretty intense and time consuming.

BTW- You know you are married when your legs and feet are incredibly swolen from surgery, you have a flabby belly that just days before housed an 8-lb baby and is now droopy, a huge incision across your abs, sore/cracked nipples and you are hooked up to a breastfeeding monitor, haven't showered, etc and your husband still loves you.

Breastfeeding Clinic

With under 2 hours of sleep, we headed off to our 9:30am breastfeeding clinic. Although we were so incredibly exhausted, I'm so glad we went. We worked with the lactation specialist and she created a personalized plan for Landon. She also provided us a chance to vent. With tears coming down my face, Suzanne gave me a big hug and said this is all totally normal. We walked out of her clinic feeling grateful to have such an amazing resource, a good plan of action for breastfeeding, and a sense of peace knowing that we weren't the only parents that were overwhelmed and confused.

Our First Night

Ugh.... we are parents now for sure. Our first night was HORRIBLE. Landon cried, screamed, whaled, and the like, from 9pm until 4:15am. There was NOTHING we could do to soothe him. We feed him almost every hour thinking maybe he was hungry. We couldn't get him to stop crying for anything. It was the absolute worst. I was seriously wondering why in the heck I wanted to sign up for this. We were so beside ourselves. It was very discouraging and I honestly thought what in the world did we just do.

Landon finally went to sleep at 4:15 but arose at 5, just 45 minutes later. He went back down for about an hour giving us a total first nights sleep of under 2 hours. All I could think is, "please tell me its not going to be like this every night".

Easter Hatch

Landon was officially discharged on Easter Sunday. But before his discharge, NICU had to complete all sorts of paperwork.

Additionally, Landon had to take his hospital picture (which is posted here and also on the Torrance Memorial Hospital website). Landon was supposed to take his picture on Saturday but the staff forgot about us. They normally don't take pictures on Sundays but since it was their mistake, they sent a volunteer to the hospital to take Landon's picture anyways. If you are wondering why the collar of his shirt looks wet it's because it is. Just as we were about ready to take this picture, Landon spit up all over his collar...hence the dark wet spot on the right side. Of course that would happen....

Anyways, we ending up having a late discharge and didn't get home till 5:30pm Easter night. Although we spent Easter alone without family, it was nice to come home to an empty, quiet house and just spend time with just the 3 of us- no hospital stuff, no monitors, etc. I've attached his picture for his car ride home.

When we drove up to our home, it was cutely decorated by our dear friend Amy. It was such a special surprise and such a warm welcoming home. Thanks Amy Beth!!!

Let's just say that we were officially "welcomed" into parenthood that evening.....

see next post-----

Landon's Hospital Days

While most moms that have just had a c-section have their babies board with them in their own rooms, we had to constantly go back-n-forth to be with our baby. It was so painful getting up and down from my bed to go see him. We were on a strict feeding schedule with the NICU- 12am, 3am, 6am, 9am, 12 noon, 3pm, 6pm, 9pm...every 3 hours. Just when we were finishing up with one feeding and going to our room, we were back in the NICU yet again. It was so exhausting!!!!

Over the next several days, our little guy was given a clear bill of health and slowly the IVs, hospital reads, etc. started to come off his little body. We kept hospital visitors to just immediate family and that was probably the best decision we made. Not that we didn't want other loved ones or friends around but with just how little time we had to spend with anyone, it would have made it nearly impossible to have visitors. Plus, since Landon was in the NICU, only one person was allowed in at a time, accompanied by either mom or dad. So, when my parents swung by, my mom would come in with me and Sonje would leave. When my dad wanted to visit, my mom would duck out so my dad could have a turn. It made it really hard to have visitors, especially since we were tied to our strict feeding schedule. I don't know how we would've handled additional visitors as we barely got by sharing our NICU time with just parents and siblings.

But, finally our discharge day came....

Deciding on a name

So... now we've got this amazing little boy. What about a name you ask? Good question. Our baby has been born now for more than 12 hours and as we sit in the NICU, we STILL didn't have a boys name. His little NICU sign just said Berg.

If the baby had been a girl our chosen name was Cambria, with the middle name being Florence (or Florencia) after my dear grandma who passed away in January. But for a little boy we had been at a complete loss. Well, that's not entirely true.....

I had several boy names I liked but Sonje didn't click with any of my names. For 9 months I kept an entire list of boy names but none of which Sonje fell in love with. I told him though that unless he came up with some names on his own, eventually we would be picking a boys name off my list. And, that's exactly what happened.

Its Thursday morning, April 9th, and as I said before, we are sitting in the NICU with no boy name. The hospital birth certificate coordinator gave us the paperwork and said when we figure it out, to return the paperwork to her office. I wonder just how many parents gave nameless kids in the hospital. But.... while sitting in the NICU, we had narrowed down the list of names to just a couple. And, from there, its almost like our baby gave us his hame. Whenever our little boy fussed or cried, Sonje and I both felt an inkling to comfort our little baby with the name Landon. It just naturally came to us as the name to soothe or poor baby.

So, LANDON SONJE BERG it is.

It's a....

BOY!

That's right, after a long time waiting (or laboring), we gave birth to an amazing little boy on Wednesday, April 8th at 6:22pm, weighing 8lbs, 19.5 inches long. Not that we were all that surprised because I thought I was having a little boy from day one, but it was still fun to find out the true, end result.

Sonje watched as they pulled the baby from my incision. He got to cut the umbilical cord. I laid on the surgery bed being stitched up.

Unfortunately though our little guy was having oxygen problems and they were also concerned about an infection in the lungs as well since he had pooped while in distress during labor, so he was raced off to the NICU to have tests run, his lungs pumped, x-rays, etc. etc.

Sonje followed our little guy to the NICU while I was sent to the recovery room for a few hours. I had maybe 2 minutes with our baby and was so bummed that I couldn't be with him. I was of course a nervous mom over my baby having to go to the NICU. I was told it wouldn't be until the morning where I could use a wheel chair so for now I was stuck in the hospital bed. They won't allow you to get up after a c-section because of the anthesia....no feeling from waste down. In fact, they told me it wouldn't be until the morning that I could go in to see my baby. Well.... that didn't fly with me. Gratefully I had a nice nurse in the recovery room push to get me in to the NICU to see my son. So, with her help, she wheeled my hospital bed into the NICU so I could have about 10-15 minutes with him that evening.

After, I wastransferred to my postpartum room (#357) to sleep and further recover. Sonje stayed with our baby for much of the first night. By the next morning, he was off oxygen. The NICU was still reviewing his lungs as he had fluid in there- apparently its pretty common for c-section babies to have fluid. Thankfully he didn't have an infection or anything but as a precaution, they put him on IV antibiotics anyways. The next morning I was wheeled into the NICU to see our sweet guy. He's just precious.

- more on next post...

D-Day (well, not exactly)

Tuesday evening, April 7th, after a nice dinner at CPK with two of my girlfriends (Heather and JD), I went home and started having contractions. Now, this isn't new since I'd been having the Braxton contractions since week 33 or something but I noticed these were a little stronger so I decided to keep track. Mind you, I was past my due date and I was scheduled to be induced on Thursday morning the 9th, so I figured I might as well time the contractions. I kept track of my contractions using contractionmaster.com. The first contraction I noted in the online log was at 9:51pm. I was hoping to do much of the early laboring at home so I wouldn't have to deal with continuous monitoring at the hospital and what not so I figured as long as my water hasn't broke, I would try to stick it out at home for as long as I could. By about 12:30pm, my contractions were about 3 minutes-ish apart, and lasting for about a minute. Also at the time, I had some blood so Sonje and I decided we should officially make a trip to the hospital to see if "its time". Once we got to the hospital, one of the L&D nurses examined me and said that I was actually only at a 2, but since I was already past my due date that I need to stay to see if my labor progresses. So... unfortunately what I was trying to avoid, happened...I was immediately put on the continuous monitor, in other words, I was stuck in bed. Around 3:30am the nurse came back into the room, re-examined me and at this time I had progressed to 4. I was hoping to avoid getting to the hospital too early so I can avoid being stuck in bed and instead, walk and what not to get the baby down into the canal and have my contractions progress nicely by being up and about but that didn't happen. My body (3 minute apart contractions and the blood) made us feel like we should get to the hospital. Anyways, to continue the story... the nurse came back in around 6am and I hadn't progressed- still at a 4. Around 7:30am my doctor came to the hospital to check on me and STILL I hadn't progressed past 4 so she decided to break my water in hopes that that would get things moving again. By about 10am, the nurse re-examined me and even with my water broker, I STILL hadn't past 4. So, the suggestion was made that since its already been 10 hours since I started my labor contractions, we should start pitocin to keep the labor up a notch. Well, as you well know, pitocin also increases the intensity of labor and I was pretty tired and sore already. Although I was trying to avoid an epidural till later in the process, I was in quite a lot of pain already. So, I took the pitocin at 4/5cm dilated. Awhile later, I had eventually reached a true 5, then later a 5/6, further later a 6, etc. However, in the meantime, the baby was showing signs of stress. I was supposed to be switching off between various sitting/laying positions because of the epidural but the baby was not letting me move off my right side laying position. Every time I moved, the babies heart rate dropped and was in the danger level. So, I was stuck laying on my right side and it went completely numb. The nurse thought that perhaps the babies umbilical cord was wrapped around the baby and that's why I wasn't able to move off my right side. Additionally, the baby wasn't reacting well to the pitocin so I was taken off that as well and the nurse hoped that my contractions and labor would advance further on its own. By about 5pm on Wednesday, I had finally made it to 8cm dilated and 100% effaced but with the baby already stressed, it didn't appear that the baby would be able to withstand labor any further, and certainly couldn't withstand pushing when it came time. So, I was told that I was going to need a c-section. This was the last thing I wanted and in fact, I had been praying for a nice vaginal labor and delivery so I was completely bummed. I cried of course. It was very disappointing, especially after trying to labor for almost 20 hours already. By 5:45pm, I was being prepped for surgery. Just thinking about the whole ordeal makes me cry all over again. It was so disappointing. The only good thing was that at 6:22pm, our baby was born.

- story continues in next blog....

Zero Days to Go

Yeah...that's what the baby ticker says tonight on my blog. However, I could only be so lucky if this baby made his/her debut tonight but its not looking like that's going to happen- nor anytime soon. In fact, on March 25th, my doctor said nothing was happening. Then, she said (for the first time mind you) that she was going to be out of town the whole next week (which is the week I'm due) and that my next appointment with her is April 6th- yes, 2 days after my due date. One more reason to not like this lady. So I figured...

A)- I'd better get walking so Saturday morning, March 28th, I walked with my sister in law, Kirsten, for 6 miles. Obviously nothing happened.

B)- Since I was comfortable about not being seen at all this week being that this was my 39th week of pregnancy, I went in on Thursday, April 2nd (Sonje's birthday btw) to my hospital so they could look at me and they also did an NST. The baby passed the stress test but I'm STILL not dilated AT ALL! The nurse couldn't even squeeze the tip of her finger in my cervix (sorry for the detailed info if you have a weak stomach).

What am I to do? I'm trying all sorts of the natural inducers and nothing is working. This little baby must be so comfy (and stubborn).

Today is my due date but I'm seeing that go by rather quickly. My doctor won't let me go past a week overdue and she won't induce either unless I'm already 3cm dilated. I'm praying that my baby and body get working together here quickly. But to date, I'm completely closed. Ugh!!! Its pretty bad when you actually look forward to the contractions and hope they get stronger and stronger because then you can hope that "its time".

Please baby and come. I want to meet you. Daddy and I are dying here waiting for you. I want to see your cute little butt so bad and put your little naked body to my chest.

Waiting, and waiting

Nothing is happening yet- darn!! I'm ready for this baby! Well, let's define ready... perhaps my house isn't as orderly as it could/should be before baby comes but besides that, I'm ready. Yes, I should have my house a little more tidy but I'm almost over it. Okay, not exactly. I'll still be working on projects around here. You would think my house would be spotless but somehow we mess it up in no time.

Anyways, we're anxious. Plus, the doctor says the baby is measuring big and she already is c-section happy so I'm wanting to get this moving along here before she has a chance to go there. An emergency c-section is one thing but this doc is more about getting in and out, getting paid more from a surgery delivery and worried about covering her butt legally then about what is best for mom and baby. Why am I with her you ask... that's a LONG story. We've tried switching but insurance issues and then by the time some of that was sorted, most docs wouldn't take me since I was too far along already. Trust me, its been a sad mess. I pray every night that things will work out for the best because I don't care for my doc. Just hoping for the best and will get the nurses on my good side since they spend most of the time with you anyways. In the meantime, send good mojo my way that this baby will get moving here soon so we can beat the doctors "clock".

Busy Busy these days

So as the big day approaches, I feel busier than ever. With what you ask...

• getting things for my hospital bag (that's for me, baby or Sonje)
• packing the hospital bag
• getting the room ready
• washing all the onesies, sleepers, clothes, etc in baby detergent so they are ready to go
• shopping and stocking up on dog food, necessities like toilet paper and such, frozen food items, etc
• getting the house clean and organized (ongoing- we aren't exactly the tiddiest of people)
• attending not only our own functions but still have a full calendar for other people's social events
• making returns from items we may have got doubles off, etc at our showers
• purchasing items we still needed to get before baby came off our registry
• choosing a pediatrician
• seeing people that either haven't seen us in awhile and want to see me with a belly and/or those people that know they won't see us for awhile after the baby comes so they are getting in their "me time" now.
• reading my baby books (as best as I can)
• ... the list can go on and on. It's amazing how much there is to get ready and I always underestimate how long things take.

Slowly but surely, we are getting more organized.

Monday the 16th-

was my last day at the chiro office (at least for now). The 414 Group has been very kind to me and I've enjoyed my time there. I've had so much fun getting to know the patients. But, unless I have free child care, it wouldn't make sense for me to work there. Perhaps one day I can go back. Its a nice office to work for and its close to home.

Prayer Shower- Sunday, March 15th

Sunday night family gathered for a prayer shower at my mother-in-laws. This is not a gift thing. It's a tradition that has been passed down over the years. My mother-in-law had the same shower with Sonje. It entails just a small, intimate gathering of family (and close friends if applicable) in which different versus are read from the bible that all have to do with motherhood. There are 7 readings in all, if I remember right, that different people read aloud to the group. Along the way prayers are offered for the mother-to-be (me in this case) and I was crowned with a jasmine wreath on my head. After the prayer part concluded we enjoyed dessert. My mom brought a beautiful poem in which she read aloud to us ladies and we were all in tears (including my mom as she was trying to get the words out). Here's the beautiful prayer poem she found and recited. As many of you know, this baby was 2 years in the making and for that reason, this poem deeply touched us that much more...

Baby's Choice

Did you ever think, dear Mother,

As the seeds of me you sowed,

As you breathed new life inside of me

And slowly watched me grow,

In all your dreams about me

When you planned me out so well,

When you couldn't wait to have me there,

Inside your heart to dwell,

Did you ever think that maybe,

I was planning for you, too,

And choosing for my very own

A mother just like you?

A mother who smelled sweet and who

Had hands so creamy white,

A tender, loving creature

Who would soothe me in the night?

Did you ever think in all those days

While you were coming due,

That as you planned a life for me

I sought a life with you?

And now as I lay in your arms,

I wonder if you knew

While you were busy making me,

I was choosing you!

[TEARS HERE....]